UOG: Demise

I can describe marriage by using playing cards........


In the beginning it was 2 hearts and a diamond........








...... now I wish I had a club and a spade

Anthony told me this morning that he HE is a trophy husband........



........I kept my head turned away from him until I stopped laughing and told him.......


“ Yes a participation trophy “

A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him.

The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."

He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…

"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."

OK serious question.......

You are with a friend having lunch together
They are telling you about what happened to them and they are crying.

My question is........

How long should I wait before I take a bite of my food?

The fact that people can't distinguish between..........

.........etymology and entomology

Bugs me in ways I can't put into words

Is an argument between to vegans still called a beef?




Where is Arden?

I thought

Ariana Grande

Was a font

Or a new coffee at Starbucks

The term Domestic Housewife implies there is a Feral Housewife......................










I now have a new goal

Guys when we say these words this is what we really mean


1 - Fine
We use this word during an argument when we know we are right and you need to shut up

2 - Nothing
This word means "something" and you need to worry

3 - Go Ahead
This is a dare not permission to do it

4 - Whatever
Our way of saying F U

5 - It's OK
We are thinking long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the Gates.

'In honor of this Holy season,' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into Heaven.'

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the Gates' Saint Peter said.

The American reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the Gates.'

The Canadian started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The Canadian replied, 'These are Carol's.'

Bama wrote: ↑December 10th, 2020, 3:17 pm Is an argument between to vegans still called a beef?




Where is Arden?

Hahahaha!!

I guess I’d be called a cow? Or a tofu? Lmao

nah you'll always be called a cun.... *ahem*

you know they're growing meat leaves now? :S




another interesting thing.. you know these foreign countries where they buy the animals live or freshly killed, like the chinese wetmarkets?
there's actually a very good reason. they dont have refrigeration, and meat starts to decay as soon as killed. so the life in the animal.. is actually kinda the preservative for the meat.

I always had a real tree for Christmas

This year I wanted to do one of those artificial trees

I will say this they are a lot easier to work with

You know you are in trouble when the voices in your head start a group chat